Ahem. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. I would like to take this opportunity to say a few words.
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Opportunity knocked on my door the other day. I opened the door, not because I wanted to welcome her in, but because I was curious to see what she looked like.
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Opportunity knocked on my door the other day. I lured her in, knocked her out with a baseball bat and confined her in my dungeons. Serves her right for walking into a stranger’s apartment like that.
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Opportunity knocked on my door the other day. I was pretty excited and welcomed her in, but all she wanted was a glass of water. Bummer.
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Opportunity knocked on my door the other day. I told her I’d had enough of personifications and slammed Mr. Door in her face.
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Opportunity knocked on my door the other day. Yeah, right.

Hee hee hee