Of all the different kinds of commer­cials you get to watch are forced to watch on televi­sion, the ones that adver­tise prescrip­tion drugs and medicines are the oddest. Here’s a typical break­down of a 45 second commercial:

1. 10 seconds announcing the product and explaining how wonderful it is. (“Chuchachuva gives you good night’s sleep!”)
2. 30 seconds describing the various side-effects of the drug. (“Possible side-effects include headaches, nausea, liver-damage, hallu­ci­na­tions, low IQ, kidneys shutting down, impotence and suicidal tenden­cies. And oh, your tongue could fall off.”)
3. 5 seconds telling you how wonderful the product is. (“Chuchachuva is the most awesomest thing ever! Ask your Doctor about Chuchachuva today!!”)

You’ll notice that the bad stuff is sandwiched between the good stuff, as if they’re hoping you’ll miss it. You can also see how they keep repeating the name of the product aloud again and again, and yet again, hoping to register it firmly in your brain.

The best part though, is how during the thirty seconds of hallu­ci­na­tions and headaches, everyone featured in the ad sticks around and gives you their best smiles, as soft soothing music plays in the background. Anyone who didn’t under­stand the language would think these guys thoroughly enjoyed their nausea and suicidal tendencies.

Tags: Commercials, Television

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