I have discov­ered that my gray hooded sweat­shirt is, in fact, an invis­i­bility cloak. Oh alright, an invis­i­bility sweat­shirt. Big diff.

Now, I’ve always been able to sneak around silently when I’m wearing that. If no one said anything to me, I just assumed it was because I didn’t say anything to them. I didn’t realize they couldn’t see me; I just thought they didn’t care.

The discovery was an accident, as you may have expected. It happened like this: I had gone to the restroom in my office the other day, and I noticed that when I used the urinal — the kind that uses a sensor to decide if you were done — it would start flushing even as I was standing there! At first, I was merely shocked and unhappy, but when it happened several times in the following days, I began to wonder about the reasons behind it. Was it some kind of misguided anger against me? Did I do something wrong? I searched my soul for answers, and when that didn’t work, I even tried Google.

And then it hit me — it was my sweat­shirt! Sometimes the truth hits you in the face in a moment of perfect clarity, and your thoughts come together like a giant jigsaw puzzle so magnif­i­cently that it leaves you speech­less. It was truly a revelation.

Sometimes I wonder why I was chosen. What did I do to deserve such a wonderful gift, this invis­i­bility cloak? Did I do something right in one of my past lives? I don’t know for sure, but sometimes things just happen and all we can do is accept it.

Tags: Sweatshirt

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