Dryer, I Will Never Love You

By the time Saturday arrived, I had a pile of laundry to be done. So late at night, I took the whole thing to the basement where there are a couple of washing machines and dryers, and dumped the clothes into the washing machine. Half-an-hour later, the washing was done and I trans­fered my clothes into the dryer, put in some coins, and satis­fied with its enthu­si­astic response, I went back to my apartment.

The next morning, I woke up early, the laundry still fresh on my mind, and wandered into the basement groggily and opened the dryer to find my clothes still wet.

What the hell was that?

I knew I had inserted the right amount; I knew it had started its work. Had it stopped sometime in the middle?

I had no idea what had gone wrong, and I had no quarters to exper­i­ment further. My wet clothes spent the Sunday sitting in a corner of my apartment.

By Sunday night, my spirits had risen somewhat, and with a fresh supply of quarters, I went down to the basement again and gave it another go. It had to be the same dryer, because the other one was in use. I put my clothes in and fed it a dollar. Soon I had the satis­fac­tion of seeing it humming and whirring. I went back home and returned forty-five minutes later to see that the machine was still going strong. Ah! My clothes would soon be dry.

Yeah, sure.

The next morning, I woke up early again, went to the basement again, and found my clothes. Wet.

Now, what in the name of the sixty-four gods was the damn machine doing all those ninety-nine minutes? My clothes weren’t damp, they were wet, as if you had rinsed it and squeezed the water out. And no, I’m pretty damn sure this machine was the dryer. I saw the letters Commer­cial Dryer written on it clearly enough.

What a moronic dryer! I would use some stronger terms here if the dryer could actually under­stand them. Dryer, if you’re reading this, know that there are people who would love to wield a baseball bat on your person. This is not just about the dollars you ate; it’s about your lack of princi­ples and that anti-social streak in your behavior that even jail-time could not cure.

Still, I’m an optimist. I dumped my clothes into a different dryer and it’s going at them now. Just to be sure, I’ve taken out some of the heavier stuff and put it on the sofa to dry.

At least the warm sunlight can be relied upon, if and when it makes an appearance.

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13 Responses to “Dryer, I Will Never Love You”

  1. Ramnath R Iyer Says:

    The second dryer did its job! I was almost reduced to tears when I saw my warm dry clothes.…

  2. Abhishek Chhajer Says:

    hey you spent 2 quarters for the job!

  3. Abhishek Chhajer Says:

    why isn’t the commets posting time showing the timezone time differ­ence.. isn’t that standard?

  4. Ramnath R Iyer Says:

    @Abhishek

    #1 Dude, I wasted $2 = 8 quarters ~= Rs. 85.
    #2 I think it is showing the time in my timezone, i.e. EDT

  5. sridevi Says:

    are you sure you need to put in a dollar? maybe you’re only supposed to put in a quarter.…do some naming and shaming– put up the pics of the guilty washer/ dryers

  6. sridevi Says:

    next time, you might want to just hang around near the dryer the next time.…maybe, somebody just removed your stuff and put theirs in– it’s been known to happen!!!

  7. Deepti Says:

    Ooooh, you nasty, nasty dryer you! Shame on you…

  8. Thenamelessone Says:

    $2 !! Hand me that bat ‚somebody ..

  9. sridevi Says:

    happy raksha bandhan :-)

  10. Sridevi Says:

    photos photos where are the photos?

  11. Ramnath R Iyer Says:

    Why do you want photos of the dryer? :-/

  12. Deepti Says:

    So The Nameless One will know which dryer to attack, silly! You wouldn’t want her to waste her aggres­sion on the wrong dryer would you?

  13. Wahoo Says:

    Thank you for sharing!

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